* You can kill cockroaches with your bare feet
* The footprints on the toilet seat are your own
* You no longer wait in line, but immediately go to the head of
the queue
* You stop at the bottom of the escalator to plan your day
* You habitually punch all the buttons as you leave the lift
* It has become exciting to see if you can get on the lift
before anybody else can get off
* You're willing to pay to use a toilet you wouldn't go to
within a kilometer of at home
* It is no longer surprising that the only decision made at a
meeting is the time and venue for the next meeting
* You rank the decision making abilities of your staff by how
long it takes them to reply "up to you mister"
* You no longer wonder how someone making US$200 per month can
drive a Mercedes
* You accept the fact that you have to queue to get your number
for the next queue
* You have considered buying a motorcycle for the next family
car
* You accept without question the mechanic's analysis that the
car is "broken" and that it will cost you a lot of money to get it fixed
* You find it saves time to stand and retrieve your cabin
baggage while the plane is on final approach
* You think the Proton and Kijang are stylish and well built
cars
* You walk to the pub with your arm around your mate
* You answer the telephone with "Hello" more than 2 times
* You are quite content to repeat your order six times in a
restaurant that only has four items on the menu
* A T-bone steak and rice sounds just fine
* You believe everything you read in the local newspaper
* You regard traffic signals, stop signs and copy watch peddlers
with ignorance
* If when listening to the pilot prove he can't speak English,
you no longer wonder if he can understand the Air Traffic Controllers
* You regard it as part of an adventure when the waiter exactly
repeats your order and the cook makes something completely different
* You're not surprised when three men with a ladder show up to
change a light bulb
* You think it is normal to wait six days to get your laundry
back or pay 50% surcharge for same day service
* Taxi drivers understand you
* You own a rice cooker
* Due to selective memory you honestly believe you could return
to the western world
* You can shake your hands almost perfectly dry before wiping
them on your pants
* When crossing a busy street you believe that a limp wrist
motion with your right arm creates a force field that repels oncoming
traffic
* Suitable family entertainment for Friday night is to dress the
whole family in dark clothing and dash back and forth across Jalan
Sudirman and other busy streets
* You think it's logical to dry your hands with Kleenex
* When dining with your family at a mexican restaurant, the
table next to you is occupied by an overweight, bald, fifty-something
Australian petroleum worker who has each of his arms around a teenaged
Sundanese girl
* While at an indonesian night spot you listen to the FEMALE
singer singing "honky tonk woman", and she appears to be unaware that
she just sang the line "I met a gin-soaked bar-room queen in Memphis,
she tried to take me upstairs for the ride, . . ."
* You find that you are now depraved enough that you just spent
a minute or two visualizing the female singer mentioned above going
"upstairs" with the gin-soaked bar-room queen
* You find yourself getting upset with inflation because the
price of the buffet in a five-star hotel is now nearly ten dollars
* Going out for a drink with your coworker, he shows up with his
girlfriend, even though you are on a first name basis with his wife
* Someone tells you that 10 kbs is a "pretty good download
speed"
* There is no discount for what is clearly a demo model
* A gaggle of teenage girls swoon as you walk by
* The cute looking girls in Singapore seemingly pay you no
notice whatsoever
* You find yourself looking at a photo of Demi Moore in a half
naked pose and find yourself thinking that she looks rather unfeminine
and unattractive
* McDonald's is out of hamburgers and KFCs is out of chicken
* You ask a person taking your order, "Do you have
cheeseburgers?" and the server responds, "Yes, we do." And so you say,
"OK, I'll order a cheeseburger." And the server says, "I'm sorry, we're
out of cheeseburgers.
* You can walk into a five-star hotel lobby unshaven, in jogging
shorts, ratty t-shirt and flip-flops and DON'T get an awkward glance
from the management.
* A bathroom with four attendants is so disgustingly filthy that
you wouldn't step into it back home ... and one of those attendants sole
job is to hand you flimsy, single-ply toilet paper to dry your hands.
* You look left, right, backwards, forwards, up and down before
crossing a one way street.
* You reach for a baseball bat every time Joshua appears on TV
(approx. every three minutes)
* Your main source of entertainment is the JP letters page
* You've seen every hollywood blockbuster three weeks before its
premier
* You know at least fifty anachronisms
* You sing along with the Dancow adverts on TV
* You drink tap water (don't do this at home kids)
* You know most of the characters in the sinetrons
* You ARE one of the characters in the sinetrons
* You pick your nose in public
* You start to pronounce 'the' as 'de'
* You take a book to read on the journey to work ( thank you for
that one Mr Cook)
* You carry tissues in your pocket for 'emergency stops' (or
spare socks, thanks again Dave)
* You answer the phone in Bahasa Indonesia
* You consider an 18 year old getting on a bit (Dee's place door
policy)
* Your current girlfriend is younger than your daughter
* and if ... YOU UNDERSTAND ALL OF THE ABOVE REFERENCES!
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment